Realizing your own husband carried on an extramarital affair is generally an upsetting proposition for almost any female. You do not want to believe that it's true. Once you find out that it is it is like you have been thrown into a bad nightmare. All of the expectations for a wonderful marital relationship are over. All the things the both of you built with regards to the past as well as the future has been destroyed. It's unfair to the family but in particular it isn't fair toward you. Thanks to your spouse's selfishness it's you who winds up paying the full price.
And now comes arguably the toughest part of this terrible ordeal and that is confronting your unfaithful mate. A part of you dreads this more than anything. It's scary coming to face with the person you love and revealing the most unpleasant of truths. At the same time there is a part of you that is eager to let them know just what they did and how it has affected you. Needless to say there is also a considerable amount of stored up rage that needs to be released and the fact that your husband had an affair makes him the perfect target.
Nevertheless do not commit these blunders when the face to face confrontation occurs.
Mistake 1. Not Enough Evidence
You heard, you assumed, your own instincts told you, a friend or family member believes they saw something or perhaps you simply put two and two together are not sufficient. If you are facing a two timing spouse you must be certain that you can validate what you're accusing him of doing.
Intuition is not proof. Eyewitnesses have been known to be wrong (particularly if they do not like your spouse) and stringing together a few ideas doesn't mean anything if your starting premise is flawed.
Therefore obtain genuine proof. It can be lipstick on their collar, a very revealing email or phone message or you find your hubby in the act the aim is to obtain proof. If you believe this might be too much for you then consider hiring an established private investigator. Just be certain that whenever the moment comes to confront your husband you are equipped to back up the charges.
Mistake 2. Feelings Command Response
Sure you are upset therefore you want to let your cheating husband have it. But losing all control is not the way to go. Allowing your feelings to take command will often make things a lot worse than they are. They can also prompt your mate to manipulate you and/or reaffirm in their minds why exactly he carried on an affair in the first place.
As tough as it might be you will have to step back and present your facts like a scientist. Maintain a certain amount of detachment. Seeing you stay in control of your emotions can have a strong effect on you and your spouse.
Mistake 3. Attempting To Anticipate Their Reaction
You figure you know exactly what makes your husband tick. After all he and you have been with each other for quite some time. So you assume a certain reply. And then he fools you by responding in a manner you never saw coming. It catches you entirely by surprise and the next thing you realize he has taken control of the situation or perhaps the many raging feelings that you had come to the surface.
Instead do not presume. Expect any and all reactions and this way nothing will take you by surprise. You have to stay in charge of the situation. Your mate had an affair. In doing this there is absolutely no way of telling where his mind is. So be prepared for whatever happens.